The temptation to leave everything behind
In a world that is often as chaotic as it is, I am sure that you, as well as I, have felt at least once the desire to leave everything behind.
To start a new life, refreshed with new possibilities and a brighter future, away from the craziness of the current situation we find ourselves in.
Maybe move to a tiny, quaint cabin in the woods, a different state, or even explore a different country.
This may actually be the right answer for us.
This may not.
There are valid reasons to leave where we are currently.
Lack of employment opportunities, civil unrest, violence, and unsafe living conditions, to name a few. Of course, it can and might even be necessary to move.
But under less extreme circumstances, this temptation to leave everything behind comes from within. With this view, I think we should try a few things before we move on from the possibilities right in front of us.
For many, a simpler and often more powerful approach can be made.
What if I told you that the feeling you are searching for is likely possible where you are and that you are not the first or last person to have this dream of moving to something better?
Enter “A thoughtful and holistic approach to living.”
The Plan will consist of 5 parts
The summary.
Why do we feel this way?
The 8 dimensions of wellness
Asking Questions
Taking action based on insights
Monitoring how we feel over time based on our actions
Below I will break down each part of this framework, showing you how this can be applied to your life.
Helping you find more meaning and joy through the practice of mindful thinking and questioning.
Let’s begin!
Why do we feel this way?
The first thing I would like to talk about is why we feel the need to move and reinvent ourselves, and or our lives?
I think for me at least, the urge to leave and make a drastic change in my life, whether that is to move to a cabin in the woods or another state completely, comes from deep discontentment within the current landscape of my life.
Interestingly, the landscape of one’s life consists of their internal thoughts, thought processes, and the immediate world around them. Which we often create.
Here is my framework.
How we perceive the word begins through our thoughts.
Our thoughts lead to our actions.
Our actions lead to our behaviors.
Our behaviors turn into our beliefs.
Finally, our beliefs turn into our outlook on life.
Here is a simpler quote that touches on the same topic.
“Thoughts become perception, perception becomes reality. Alter your thoughts alter your reality.”
- Williams James
In talking about thoughts shaping our reality, I must speak about cognitive distortions.
To learn more about cognitive distortions, which I highly recommend learning about click here…
I find it fascinating that often, for many people, taking a deep dive into understanding themselves, and finding ways to make life meaningful where they are, is often possible.
Not only that, but plausible and realistic.
The interesting thing is we can often find contentment in our localized area with a change in views, friendships, habits, and possibly our job to name a few.
After all, I think the reason we have such a strong desire to leave our current life behind is an equal reflection of our discontent with the current life that we are living.
What if we can change the life we are living in ways that are simpler and more obtainable than we previously thought?
Enter “The 8 dimensions of wellness”
For me, as boring as it may seem, I always refer back to the 8 dimensions of wellness.
This is one of the most important things to learn about to improve our lives.
Here is a brief recap of the 8 dimensions of wellness.
“These interconnected dimensions are emotional, physical, occupational, intellectual, financial, social, environmental, and spiritual health.”
Each dimension works with the other to create the framework for our life and the quality of it. Learning to find a well-balanced, holistic approach to life through the 8 dimensions of wellness is, in my opinion, essential.
I also find that the people I meet who are the happiest and closest to peace have a great framework for their lives. They have their 8 dimensions well established, even if they haven’t heard of “The 8 dimensions of wellness” they are applying it to their lives intuitively.
Of course, learning about the 8 dimensions of wellness (Overview of the 8 dimensions of wellness) is the first part.
The second part is learning how to effectively apply the 8 dimensions of wellness to your life.
Understandably, this takes time to figure out, since everyone has a different balance that works for them.
However, it is important to note that all dimensions of wellness are important and worth our attention (which is something that we build on over time) to live a meaningful and fulfilled life.
(At some point in the future, I will talk about how I learned to apply the 8 Dimensions of wellness in my life if that sounds interesting, please let me know )
For those of you who want a deeper dive into the 8 dimensions of wellness, I highly recommend looking into this article here when you have the time…. Complete breakdown of the 8 dimensions of wellness by SAMHSA
If you don’t have time now, I highly recommend bookmarking or saving this link!
Asking Questions
Anyways, continuing on with finding a way out of the discontentment from one’s current life.
I think the best thing to do next is to ask questions.
Lots of them. I have some questions to get you started in your path of self-discovery.
(So grab your thinking hat and let’s get started)
Here are 32 Questions to ask ourselves when life doesn’t feel meaningful or fulfilling.
Do I have effective and healthy coping skills for when life becomes difficult?
Do I treat myself with respect and show compassion for myself, even when I make mistakes?
Do I show compassion and care for others?
Have I created a life upon a foundation that feels sustainable and meaningful?
Am I physically active, given my physical capabilities, age, and time?
Am I prioritizing enough high-quality sleep?
Am I eating healthy and keeping processed food to a minimum?
Do I work a job that feels meaningful?
Am I appreciated at work?
Is there gratification within my job?
Am I content with and or do I see potential in my current job?
Am I paid fairly for the work and effort that I put in?
Unfortunately, this seems to be quite a struggle at the moment for a lot of people.
Am I able to pay the bills without a lot of financial stress?
(This is a very common cause for stress)
Do I have systems in place to avoid negative coping skills like overeating, snacking, or quick purchases for instant gratification?
Do I challenge my mind and learn new things that interest me?
Do I put myself out there, and or plan unique life experiences that can help bring positivity and joy to my worldview?
Do I have people who I enjoy connecting with?
Do I share my joy for the hobbies I have with others?
Am I part of the community?
Am I part of Social and or sporting events?
Is the space that I live in clean and safe?
Do I take pride in where I live?
Do I take care of my space and possessions?
Do I keep my car, phone, room, etc., clean? Do I maintain them and take pride in what I currently own?
Do I spend enough time outside in the sunshine or even rain?
Fresh air is important!
And so is being outside even if the weather isn’t “perfect.”
Do I believe in something greater than myself?
What is my spirituality like?
Do I pray regularly and or attend religious events weekly at my local Church, Synagogue, Mosque etc. ?
Do I give myself time to relax, rest, and recover?
Do I give myself time to journal and reflect on the day, without distractions from TV, phones, etc.?
Do I take time to create a game plan to improve different elements of my life?
Do I take a holistic and well-rounded approach to improving my wellness?
Questions like these are worth deeply thinking about and reflecting on, since you can gain so much valuable insight.
Taking action based on insight
With that insight, we will then learn where our action points should be.
Improving in the weaker aspects of our wellness with compassion and care towards ourselves.
Give yourself credit for taking the initiative towards better health.
That shows the greatness and curiosity of your character!
Here is an example of how I used these questions and the 8 dimensions of wellness to improve my life. (This example is for emotional wellness.)
Through questioning and self-discovery, I realized that I was too judgmental towards myself.
It is one thing to strive for something great and another to define your worth based on a goal.
Once I detached my worth from a goal and gave myself the grace to not always achieve, I felt freer and more assured in myself.
Interestingly, in doing so, I also found more compassion for others as well. I became less quick to judge and saw the beauty that each person brings, which was always right in front of me, but something I had missed previously.
Monitoring how we feel over time based on our actions
The next stage is monitoring how we feel after taking action on the insights that we’ve gained from the questions we have asked.
Just like a butterfly, beautiful things take time.
Over time, see if your actions correlate with positive results. Such as a greater sense of calm, more gratitude, or empathy and sympathy towards one another.
You may even want to notate/ journal how you’re feeling and when these feelings become stronger. Are there any particular things that cause those feelings whether good or bad?
This will help us correlate certain behaviors / behavior patterns that lead to certain feelings.
As we work on the 8 dimensions of wellness, we should journal how we feel, and look back to see if as our health improves our desire to leave everything behind diminishes.
Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end!
If this was insightful and helpful please let me know.
Anything else you want to learn about, questions, or just want to say hi :)
Please comment below.
Love Kynr
